Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
