how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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