ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
