dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
