bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize