ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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