why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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