that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize