so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
