mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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