A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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