Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
