it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
