guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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