i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
