absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize