We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
