that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
