i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
