Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize