my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
