K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
