i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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