you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
