Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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