so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
