Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
