Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize