Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
