I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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