Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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