the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
