You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm too high and old for this...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
