I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
