i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
