well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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