i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I would fuck him just for his dog
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
