I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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