Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So much rum. So many feels.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
