stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
