u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
