butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
