How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize