I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
