you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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