so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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