i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
