i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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