And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
