So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize