I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize