Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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