No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
