Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
third nipple confirmed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
