Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
