Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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