Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
