Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
