Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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