all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
