hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
