I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All I want is dick and wine.
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