idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
