just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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