One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
