I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
