this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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