So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
