get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
