I wish I could teleport
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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